What's refating? And how to do it.

Have a sh*tty planet in your astrology chart? Refate it. Have an awesome planet in your astrology chart that’s not giving you awesome results? Refate it. In this episode, I define exactly what I mean by refating and show you how I do it. I also go through common misconceptions about refating including how it differs from manifestation, that it does NOT bypass pain and suffering, and why it IS incredible, but it’s NOT a miracle drug.

(00:00) Podcast intro
(01:44) Refating definition
(04:49) How to refate
(09:51) Common myths and misconceptions about refating
(18:20) The Venus Refating Retreat, November 14-15, 2026

What refating is and why you should care

Refating is a mechanism for shaping your fate, your life, and increasing your own power and agency. In other words, refating is how to get what you want.

I’m 100% sure somebody else in the world is using the word refate, but as far as I'm aware, I’m the first to use it in this context. It doesn’t exist in the dictionary. You can’t look it up. It’s just a funny word my husband and I made up on a walk many months ago.

Here’s how I define it. Refate is a verb, and it means to fate again. Specifically, it means to invite a placement in your astrology chart to express constructively. You may not be able to change your birth chart, but you can refate it.

I believe your astrology chart is plastic, like your brain. The same exact placement can express very beneficially or very detrimentally. And I believe you have a say in that. Refating is like reseeding a part of your chart. It’s acknowledging that a piece of your chart is expressing in a way that you don’t enjoy and deciding that you want to reseed it or “grow” it again.

How to refate

You can use almost anything to refate a planet but the secret ingredient is relating. Refating is relating. I’ll type that again. Refating is relating. When you strip everything away in a refating practice, all that's really happening is relationship building with the planet you are refating.

First and foremost, refating requires you to stop viewing planets like orbs that are out to get you. It requires you to stop thinking of astrology as something that makes things happen to you. And it invites you to start relating to your planets as aspects of self that you’re curious about. Parts that you’d like to get to know better, that you’d like to build rapport with, that you’d like to understand, so that you can help them mature into something more beneficial.

The way I currently refate my planets is threefold. I use what I call Cosmic Attunements, Guided Cosmic Journaling, and Planetary Workouts.

A Cosmic Attunement is a blend of somatics, hypnosis, and visualization, and it gives an internal planet part an opportunity to speak to you, to interact with you, and to reveal itself to you. It's like meeting a planet for coffee. The planet takes on a shape in your imagination, and you ask it some very carefully crafted questions in order to gain clarity and build trust.

Guided Cosmic Journaling is the inverse. It's where you are expressing yourself, and your internal planet part is witnessing you. If you put these practices together, you're developing a two-way relationship. The planet speaks, you observe and witness. You speak, the planet observes and witnesses.

The third piece, Planetary Workouts, is optional, but it’s something I truly enjoy and something that tends to speed up the refating process. There's something very sacred and ceremonial about sweat and breath. Intentionally bringing the planet you're refating into your movement practice is a powerful way to supercharge it, infuse it with energy, and give it some juice. It's as if you are generating potential energy with your body and channeling it toward that planet's greatest fate.

Any practice that you genuinely love can be used to refate a planet in your chart. It just requires relating. That’s the key ingredient. Remember, it's all about creating a relationship with your internal planet parts.

Relating works because it creates safety. Safety allows you to crack open a constructive dialogue between you and a planet. Once it feels safe enough, the planet is then able to let go of any protective roles and behavior loops that are keeping you stuck, and be liberated to express its greatest fate.

What refating is not

Refating is not bypassing pain and suffering

The very first Instagram post I made on refating was picked apart by a stranger implying that I was bypassing the reality that suffering exists. I found that response so interesting because it reiterated my point: the astrological community is really attached to suffering. It's really attached to connecting certain aspects and planets to doom and gloom. It made me think, "Wow, this work scares me, but it really needs to be done!”

Without this work, my personal tendency is to wallow in suffering. I’m very good at suffering. I'm a suffering expert. I have Saturn in the 12th house. Refating is not a natural thing for me to do, but I feel I was “chosen” to bring this work to the world probably because I'm so resistant to letting my suffering go.

I want to be very clear from the outset: refating does not erase or bypass pain and suffering. These are very real parts of the human experience, and just because you refate something does not mean you will never suffer again.

Rather, refating says suffering is not the only possible expression for your life or for your chart. Refating says there is more to experience than suffering, and it invites you to crack open fate and create room for another narrative to emerge.

Refating is not manifesting

Another misconception is that refating is just an astrological version of manifesting. There's some overlap between refating and manifesting for sure, but they aren’t the same. Refating tends to operate quite a few layers deeper than what's typically popularized as manifestation.

Refating is not about manifesting material things or experiences, although those things are often a byproduct of refating. Refating is repairing the relationships with all the disparate parts and pieces of yourself. Anything material that comes out of that is a welcome byproduct.

More on this in the future, but refating also hinges on a philosophy that I've created called The Spectrum of Fate. Very quickly, The Spectrum of Fate states that your life expresses on a range that's defined by your chart. You might express on the challenging end, but after you refate, you might express on the beneficial end.

Regardless, you're still expressing on the range that's written by your chart. Theoretically, we could say that manifesting, or trying to manifest something outside of your fated range, your Spectrum of Fate, might be difficult or even impossible.

Refating isn’t just for “challenging” planets

Refating is for every planet. It also works for "awesome" planets that aren't acting awesome. I want you to start thinking about your astrology chart as a collection of promises. Your planets make promises to you about what they can bring about in your life. But sometimes you have to make sure they keep up their side of the bargain.

I’ve seen many planets in rulership or exaltation not act like planets in rulership or exaltation. The answer to this is refating. Why? Because refating is relating. If you want to change the way your planet is operating, you've got to understand it, you've got to know it, you've got to get on its level and free it to express something different.

Refating is not a one-and-done thing

It sure would be nice if refating was a one-and-done-thing…but it’s not. Again, refating is about building relationship and trust. It's not a miracle drug.

Yes, you can have very powerful refating experiences that catapult you into the stratosphere. Yes, you can refate your entire life from top to bottom. But there's always upkeep. There's always maintenance. There's always making sure it goes the distance

Just like person-to-person relationships, planet-to-person relationships need regular tending. Now, all that said, refating, does not have to take a ton of time. But it does need to be a regular touchstone in your life. It’s like meeting your best friend for coffee once in a while to stay up to date.

There will be seasons where you’re doing the refating work multiple times a day, and there will be seasons where you take a step back and just touch in a couple of times per week. Regardless, refating is not a one-and-done miracle drug. It’s relating, and relating takes time.